Shared here is an article of mine that was recently published by the Folklore
Foundation of India - a prestigious research institute working on folk literature.
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‘Dhamail deo go bherbherir ma/amra dhamail chini na/
Kichu kichu chintam pari/budha betay manoin na
Kichu kichu chintam pari/budha betay manoin na
(‘Dance, O mother of Bherbheri.’ ‘We don’t know how to dance. Actually, we know a little bit, but the Big Man won’t allow us’)
Growing us as a child in a village of North-east India, bordering
Sylhet district of Bangladesh, I sung this song along with my friends
during a session of ‘Dhamail’- the most commonly practiced group dance
in our area. In Dhamail,(originated from ‘Dhamal’ or fun) women,
accompanied by a drummer, dance in a circular motion, singing songs of
love, rituals, rebellion and worship. Such dance is an integral part of
any social event, be that a wedding or an engagement or even
‘annaprashan’(first rice eating of a child) in hundreds of villages in
the NE region.
Also, Dhamail has always been the most popular game among children,
especially girls. Every day while playing, we would break into a
‘Dhamail’ dance and sing joyously whatever we learnt from our female
relatives.
However, this particular song, mentioned above, wasn’t sung at any
social event, and was only heard in little girls’ groups such as ours.
The reason: it was considered a pariah for elders because of its silly
lyric.
As I danced with my friends, I too would sing and break into
laughter. The very word ‘Bherbheri’ was funny as nobody had ever heard a
girl with such a name. The laughter kept us from completing our
singing.
It’s only after I became a journalist and started covering, among
others, women’s issues, that the song started making sense. I started
wondering about this mother of Bherbheri. Who was she? Why did she name
her girl ‘Bherbheri?’ Why wasn’t she allowed to dance? Who was this ‘Big
Man’ who stopped her? Was it her husband or her father in-law? And,
above all, why was the song considered silly? Was it because it spoke of
an ugly reality?
