A toast to Tarun Tejpal!

So, just when you thought you had heard enough stories of  rape and sexual assaults and all that s**t coming of India, here comes yet another headline: Tarun Tejpal, chief editor of Tehelka - an Indian  news magazine that is known for its bold and honest journalism - has sexually assaulted one of his woman colleagues.

Now, sexual assaults are no laughing matter. And yet this one has me in splits. The reason is, this man Tarun Tejpal - one of the country's 'most respected' journalists (and also often seen as a panelist/speaker/chief guest at events organized to condemn rapes/violence against women etc) has figured out the punishment for his crime all by himself :  a 6-month long holiday which he calls "atonement".

What's more, his publication says that Tejpal has done the right thing. Shoma Chaudhury - the second in command at the magazine says that Tejpal has apologized and it is more than enough for the assaulted girl. (and don't you dare point out that she is a woman and therefore should be more sympathetic to the victim  - because she clearly doesn't care for that.Besides, think of it - the lady has to save her chair which is no easy job, eh?).

So, there you go -a simple, classic way to water down (they actually are calling it "sexual misconduct" which sounds so lame, doesn't it?) and bury a case of sexual assault. Only, this time its not done by a politician or a godman, but, like I said, a journalist and a media house the country so respects.

So  here's what I say: Thank you Tarun Tejpal, for telling us once again how sexual violence is such a non-issue and how it should be made light of. Thank you for also telling us how simple it is to solve a crime like that.

I  think, the government should really take note of you and your action and launch a special "atonement" course for all the rapists and molesters across the country. In fact, you should be the head instructor at this course ! All the rapists/molesters should be asked to attend this course and on completion, they should all be set free.

That will really save the government - and the society in general - so much money and energy of catching, trying and sentencing sexual assaulters!

Also, it will help save the great tradition and culture of rape and molestation that we have in India.

But, above all, it will encourage women - journalists included  - to NOT  open their mouth against an assaulter (they have been doing this a lot of late) and instead be good and silent women - you know, those who don't dishonor anyone.

If all these happen, maybe one day, we will just not have any more sexual assaults because none will be reported! India will be a rape/molestation-free country then. And Tarun Tejpal may even get a Bharat Ratna as the greatest social reformer of all time!

Here's to the man!

Here's to that future!